I woke up on my day off this week and for some reason Rhiannon’s energy filled me completely. I was about to get dressed when I hovered by the mirror and recalled my homework, to look at myself and affirm, ‘I am beautiful. I am gorgeous. I am Goddess’ whilst naked and uncritical. I decided to do this, to even photograph myself, and then sit before the Love Altar and have some self-love time. The rest of the day comprised of discussing the Priestess of Rhiannon Training with Katinka, followed by yoni gazing and painting with my Moonblood. I went on to engage in intimacy twice-fold with my lover when he got home. It hadn’t been my plan for the day, but that is what happened!
For a long while now I've wanted to paint with my own Moonblood. I wanted to honour my blood and my yoni at the same time and so decided to photograph myself and paint a version of my sex on a canvas with my blood. It is very stylised but it was the sacred act of looking, painting and recreating that mattered. As I did this, and looked from mirror to photograph I identified the shape of my yoni, which I describe for myself in my private journal (sorry folks!).
Painting with my blood was easier than I had expected. It was applied just like watercolour paint, and came out an ochre colour. It is not an outstanding piece of artwork, but what it is created from and represents makes it really special to look at.
Gazing into Her mirror has also lead me to the conclusion that I wish to pursue next year within the Priestess of Rhiannon Training. This has always been a fact for me, as something I’d inevitably do. Everyone who knows me knew this too! For some reason, despite everything that pointed in Her direction, despite Her sweet siren song, and this sense of inevitability, I was making myself wait. I was waiting to complete the Avalon course fully.
I had to realise that I should be doing the course that is calling to me. I should listen to Her call and respond. In the past my world has been filled with trying to keep things planned so that they fit into my own order. When I first fell in love with the Goddess of Love I tried to continue on with this bubble of order, but that didn't work out. She had other plans for me, and as soon as I had dared to say 'yes' to Her, that was it, She took the reins. I had no choice but to surrender and go with the current.
The Goddess of Love requires us to surrender to Her, to trust that we don't always know what's best, and to go with Her tides. Being a Priestess is about saying ‘yes!’ to Goddess when She calls.
So here it is: I say yes, and I surrender to you Rhiannon!